This year's harvest was especially precious to me, given how much more effort it took to grow my garden. In prior years, I could easily walk over to my garden patch, bend down, and slip fine seeds into the rich, deep soil. This year, with the mobility challenges I’ve been facing, I cannot physically access my garden.
|Quill on a nighttime prowl|
It was great fun....but then again there were
some abject failures
...The pumpkins catastrophically failed in mid August, owing to a fella we named Quill, a rather curious porcupine who delighted us with his evening visits throughout the late summer. Quill unfortunately thought he might take a fancy to the pumpkins we were growing for Sam's Halloween Jack-O- Lantern... but after biting into them and wrecking them all, Quill decided he wasn't so fond of them after all. He then decided he would instead prefer my raspberries. Now for the first time ever our raspberries had yielded a good crop. But overnight they turned into a delicious midnight porcupine snack...
Nonetheless, when autumn rolled around, we were able to harvest lots of potatoes,onions and dill, and paltry amounts of carrots and tomatoes. There were also apples, and chocolate and peppermint tea.
And then the harvest ended. The period of waiting on the cusp of winter began.
And with it, my spirit went quiet.
I suddenly found myself in a time of reflection and ruminating and re-evaluating in my soul.
I felt keenly aware of my failures.And it wasn't very pleasant.
It's one of the reasons I haven't blogged for the past month: it's hard to write about sunny blog topics such as joy and peace and beauty when the days seem darker and when the failures instead of the successes seem to mount up.
I found myself in a period these past weeks of mourning what used to be. As autumn rolled around and I was still at home in a wheelchair/ walker instead of going outside on the long creek walks I used to go on all the time; still listening to church via the shut-in phone line instead of physically being in the church sanctuary on Sundays; still struggling with pain instead of being victoriously well and in a healed state-- a period of grief encompassed my soul. My world has felt pretty black at times.
I prefer to be someone who smiles in the face of adversity, who finds joy in the hard times, who discovers beauty no matter what. It is what typically my blog is all about. However, I've learned that a diverse array of emotions are part of a vibrant and full life, just as there are vast differences in the seasons in this unique climate in which I live.
To live richly in all seasons of life is also to remember that after the winter comes and then wanes again, will come the time to time to plant seeds anew, with the hope of harvest in one's heart.
To everything there is a season..... "a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them..... He (makes) everything beautiful in its time" (Ecclesiastes 3:1-5&9).